Recently President Trump indicated he favors waterboarding to gain information from terrorist detainees. Got me to thinking about the evolution of torture for gaining information. Below are the stages from most effective to least:
1. Medieval Rack (very effective, but tiring for the inquisitors).
2. The Nut Cracker (not to be confused with the Tchaikovsky Ballet).
3. The "shocking" battery induced thrill of the Third Reich .
4. Waterboarding (useless when interrogating life guards and Navy SEALS).
5. Sleep deprivation (useless when attempting to break an insomniac).
6. Playing loud rap music (only effective against country music lovers and totally useless on inner city brothers).
7. Enlightened conservation supplemented with a Starbucks Latte (the preferred method of American Liberals).
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